Language Patterns for Success in Business and Life!
The quality of your life is really the quality of your communication with yourself and others. Once you become more aware of your language and study the strategies, the better results you will achieve. As you may know I have studied NLP (neuro linguist programming) and become a master practitioner back in 1999 with my wife De Ann.
NLP has been defined in many ways. NLP is a way to use language and your brain to get results. Modeling is the ability to duplicate, with uncommon precision, any behavior, ability or result. NLP also helps you to model faster any result you want. The belief is if anyone can create a result if you can create the exact model and duplicate it. My teacher and trainer is Alexander Van Buren. I have interviewed him for several Top 5% calls in the past including the very popular, “How to Overcome the Pattern of Overwhelm and Confusion” and “How to achieve your goals faster and easy”. Both are excellent examples of how small shifts in your language can make all the difference in the world.
In order to become more effective with your own language patterns and others you will need to become a better listener. This will come to you as you learn the subtle differences with language and the effects on your results both for your business and your life.
Let’s start with a basic example, that we may all be guilty of at times, that is generalizations (when it is linked to problems, linked to solutions is good). A generalization is a global belief about people, things or places. One might say, all men are just out for one thing. That is a generalization. Not ALL men are out for one thing. Perhaps the 5 men you have dated or someone you knew has dated appeared to be out for one thing. Another one is the word always. Why do I always seem to get taken advantage of? Do you always? Or did it happen a few times? There is a pattern in NLP called the optimism pattern where you put resources in the future and you limit problems. You might say, Bob was not ideal for me because_________ (isolate the problem to one person, Bob, not all men) and list your outcome, My goal is to meet someone that is energetic, fun, spiritual, financially successful and loves to be with me! Next language the solution, here is where you can use generalizations to put resources in the future, I always attract the best people in my life!
What most people do is say the opposite, called the Pessimistic Pattern, which is why do I always meet the wrong people (generalizes problems), I never seem to pick the good ones, and I always seem to screw it up. As you can hear this will lead to a lot of problems.
Establishing well formed conditions are key for success.
Step 1, is to state what you want in positive terms (not what you don’t want). Here are the questions to ask: What specifically do you want? (key word is specifically). What do you WANT to have happen? When you imagine the situation as ideal, what do you notice?
Step 2, it should be initiated and maintained by the goal setter. Here are some great questions to ask: If you were to state the goal as something initiated by you, how would you say it?
Step 3, stated and defined in sensory based terms (in pictures, sounds and feelings). Here are the key questions to ask, What will you be doing when you get your outcome? What will it look like when you have your outcome already? Do you hear the language being used? Adding the word at the end “already” assumes you will achieve your outcome. That is a huge, distinction. Step 4, When, where and with whom …Ask; when do you want (day, time…) to achieve your outcome? Where and with whom. As a last step it always helps to do what is called an ecology check. Does you achieving your outcome negatively affect someone or cause major challenges? This is a good check to determine by you achieving your goal, ideally no one is negatively affected. Sometimes that is not the case.
Another great language pattern for business is what is called an evidence procedure question. This is where you will determine what has to happen in order for someone to do business with you. They will tell you their steps or evidence procedure. Another great question is from my friend Spike Humer. He will often ask, “What would it take for you to say yes?” It invites someone to the space of accepting your offer and for them to step out of that and tell you what is missing in your offer, product or service so you can fill the gaps! Another powerful approach!
The word specifically can solve and minimize many challenges. Some people used unspecified verbs in their communication. Example, ‘They’re hurting the community’. You may ask, ‘How specifically are they hurting the community’? Get someone to chunk down and get more specific. Another example is a comparative deletion. It’s getting worse. Worse than what? It’s too expensive. Compared to what? Or mind reading. Example, I knew you would like it. How did you know?
Milton Ericson was a famous medical hypnotherapist. He would use patterns to create positive and lasting change. When combined with pacing and leading, and sensory acuity (auditory, visual or kinesthetic). Here are a couple of examples. Awareness Predicates: Notice, aware, discover, realize, know, appreciate…Have you NOTICED your body relaxing? Are you AWARE of how good you’ve become at using language to influence? Adverbs and adjectives; Become, deeply, curious, easily…Are you CURIOUS to know how soon you’ll be using language well? Stacking is a powerful way to combine presuppositions.
Example: Perhaps you’ve ALREADY discovered many uses for presuppositions and ways to combine them with your other skills. WHICH one will you use most? WHICH one will hear yourself say FIRST? WHICH one will become your favorite? I’m not certain HOW good you’ll become at using language or HOW MANY people you’ll help with your new skills. Do you hear the differences? Do you now understand how powerful your language can affect yourself and others?
Finally, avoid the word “try”. I know you know this and now is a great time to just eliminate that word for “failure” from your vocabulary and replace it with a more empowering word like, “execute, test or implement”.
About the Author:
Scott Letourneau is the founder and CEO of Nevada Corporate Planners, Inc. & The Top 5% Club. Over the past 15 years NCP has assisted more than 6,000 business owners form LLCs and corporations to get their business off to a fast start to profits™! Questions? Call NCP at 1-888-627-7007 or 1-702-367-7373 if you are internationally based looking for establish a U.S. company. www.nvinc.com